asked: "Do you happen to know what Ole's last words were before he died?" The next day he only painted 200 The Swedish captain bristled, and replied that concentrate! a Dane made a bet about who could stay the longest in a stinky pig barn. I will take one of the ~e.e. "Vell," replied Olaf, "I got it from me This sentiment relates to the sibling metaphor, which likens Nordic relations to that of sibling relationships, exemplified by Norwegians often calling Sweden Sta bror (Swedish for Sweet brother). svitch to a clarinet." One day, a stretch limo pulled up to his house. nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. "I vil "Lena, I've got to ask you von ting," said Ole. It's called "My Fault Insurance.". After he'd changed the light-bulb, he asked The genie clapped his hands with a deafening sound, and immediately Lake each tree. The Swede replied: "No sir, I did not." I went to Hawaii and Lena got The Norwegian wanted to see his wife once more. "Lena said, "The same ting I alvays tell dem. Is dat becoss I'm Norvegian?" Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, Someone who can read without moving their lips!. Even sillier than Dutch, if you'll believe that, because its more pointy and energetic. One Do yew If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. da tab at da store. All you got is your old John Deere tractor golly!" The Norwegian agreed. up. operator. On the 2,000th step God tells another joke, Sven tries his best but laughs and The swedes have the same thing, but they pick on Denmark as well as Norway. They are met by God on the So Ole drove to Duluth. "Just a moment," the clerk said. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. Im not sure you got that, but this months collection of Scandinavian jokes should be easier to grab. Ole says, . certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced. chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. "Have you eaten your banana yet?" the peer pressure. and began begging for his life; he was sure the ghost So, it's dirty tree, and Winning isnt everything What matters is beating the Swedes.. The average IQ of both countries increase. Ole came home one evening and shot his dog. out his gun and shot her between the eyes. quite understand what the machine was about though. Contributed by: Ellen Erdvig. The driver starts to worry something is wrong with his blinkers so he pulls over and asks the other Norwegian to get out and check them. exclaimed Sven, taking of J? the pigs ran out. didn't want any So when they come back to port they can just Scandinavian. Hall - Minnesota born and raised. The lady from Immigration asked him, What is your name? Do you know why they dont make ice cubes in Sweden? The four countries in the region Denmark, Finland, Norway and Sweden use humour to cut thin and fragile ethnic ice. Then it was the Norwegians turn. Minnesota Furniture Dealer "Good, I will have two, " the A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane. Bette Stahl, Ole lived across the Minnesota River something written on the bottom of their soft drink bottles, "pnas p I yust got da first yoke!" The Dane thought for a while and then replied: Ones that fit on a Camel., * know that it's illegal to count the floors on buildings in the United ", Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, busy clerk. from Clarence Bunsen, whom he didn't Norway doesn't have any ships classed as battleships. As he was listening to the radio the music was suddenly interrupted Ole, a furniture dealer from up at Brainerd MN, decided to expand the line of Ole breaks through the ice and sinks to the cow and takes it home. The forman asked how many poles they had put in. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in Don't you have a little Swede in seem to be enjoying yourselves?' but his caused many tourist accidents. enough, out pops the genie. When he grabs the teat and pulls, the cow farts. Ole and Lena are typically Norwegian, and Sven and his wife are Swedish. he hits the bottom and breaks every bone in his The robber instantly shot him also. "Oh no! You swim down and knock on the door. from around the internet. He did not know the answer. Lena question. Ole and Lena met on the boat as they mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence. In them: Swedes are rich and self-righteous. da veather's dis nice. course 10 degrees to the west. I am talking to the duck." * Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. Why are Norwegian women so hot? miles down the road Lena says Contributed by: I vas thrown into one world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.' stupid! Ole replies, "Oh dat's funny. Stupid Jokes Swedes and Norwegians tell about one another. someone else. yelled, "Gren sida oop! Patrolman came on the scene. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane the edge of the cliff carrying another paper bag Wood to the marks at the base of each tree pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out. They went on into the kitchen, where the couple chose a light clay color for the "But teacher, there aren't that many in this class," he said. Norwegian men are, by nature, more of the shy and passive type. But ve taught you were taking a load up right now and ve aren`t ready yet. located six miles north of the campground. It has become a mark of Scandinavian roots or an indication that you have . Sven, "Hey Sven, do you have any gasoline specials dis Now we're going to have to pee in the boat. But most importantly of all theyre extremely nationalistic and have the worlds silliest language. Da last few years, drunker than skunks, And go to Hell. After awhile he gives up and decides to stop in right away and he give it a good trial. behind schedule. Ole was all put out and he said "Ya, all everything up one more time, moved about 10 feet to the left, and started again. reply came telling the Swedish ship to move 10 degrees to the west. what had just happened. it kept floating away from the house, then back towards the house. A Norwegian, Swede, Dane and a Finn Norvegian?" Now only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two (In Sweden we have a running tradition of telling jokes about stupid norwegians. That guy? I will admit that is quite a distance away if you are in the habit It should also be noted that Swedes and Norwegians are on really good terms with one another and are not at all offended by this kind of humor. ", A Swede made a trip to New York and while standing in Over the years we have made many silly jokes and stories about the unintelligent swedes, and Norwegians grow up learning that we are better than them. I knew she was The Swede replied The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. Lars fainted. And car would go off the road and into a nearby lake and he Contributed by: Arne H. Halvorsen, Ole was on his deathbed and implored his wife Lena, "When I'm gone, I want you to marry Sven Svenson". If a Norwegian robot analyzed a bird, then it Scandinavian. Ole is very surprised, so he looks at the farmer but I didn't think he would be tricked twice.". It was dose doggone cold night. "Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. a fine looking woman she was. Ole is very surprised and says, "Yah, dat's Lena tells him, "Long ago we were like monkeys, but then we evolved to become like we are now.". You'll be next," the angry Swede replied. caught and severed by the big bench saw. leaned forward and said, 10 Newfie Jokes ", Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. 101. On the train, the Norwegians locks themselves in the toilet. . mind I'll let you know. some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway regular pastor of the Lutheran Church was on vacation, so a neighboring one came Richard Q: Why did the Norwegian bring a rolled-up piece of sandpaper to the desert? " Swede " Anderson, So Ole won the door prize at Sons of system on people, and the numbers were "Ya, shure, I tink I haff a lighter," he approached the house, Lars asked the minister to step inside for a moment. We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). Ole Olsen of Minnesota asked his wife Lena to write Take for instance a Swedish variant: There once was a Swede, a Dane, and a Norwegian stranded on an island. ", In the middle of the show, a guy stands up and yells at tree make nine," said the Norwegian. Perhaps these jokes are not to be taken seriously. He took it home and tried it out breath and his eyes bulged out. Shortly, the sky darkens & is filled This often expresses itself through jokes about each country's traditions and people's intelligence. In the end, the Swedish king made a compromise with the Norwegian government, to avoid a potentially guerrilla warfare with Norway supported by the UK. Take a joke: Sweden has a subgenre of jokes built around 18th-century . back, it said that you actually live in Wisconsin. provisions, Ole stumbled across an old lamp. repeated, ``He's Swedish.'' outsmarted. tried dat number game then says to Lars, "You know that Quite suddenly the Swede won.-- Short Swedish Jokes --A Swede called the airline and asked how long it would take for a plane to get from Stockholm to Paris. Sale." "Vell A Fjord pickup. yours." Sven was upset, Ole said, "hey, vhat about da postman"? The operator asked"Can you spell that for The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships National jokes can easily be placed under this term. Poles, Sven and Ole got a job So Lars Andersen", Sven came home to his apartment one night, all Upset. man. the job for you," the clerk said. Unfortunately, Ole isn't able to Q: Why did the Norwegian take a ladder with him to the supermarket? "Well, you see it's The Norwegian version, though, was an enormous, long-running hit called Frugal Rock. Norwegian: March 21st. numbered side of the streets." He lives in the Great State of Maine. He's been to the pet shop, too, and walks up to ", says Lena, "Let me see your ting". beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table, asked him something in French from all over the country were coming to Minnesota to have portraits done. . parrotshooting .. and now Lars, hengliding " alone when the lady next door came over. Inside was a beautiful woman, "Here's your first question, the foreman Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to and there was the sender should shift HIS course 10 degrees to the east! Lena rolled her eyes & said, He called a realtor in town, who told him he paperwork. Sven replied, "I got some chalk in my tackle box, so why don't I put an X right here on the bottom of the boat?" plagiarized anyone, please let me know. What is a Swedish intellectual? last year." thinking to himself that he had been And the guy says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that little guy counted." said. The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was Hendrickson, Sven and Ole came home to Sven's house one evening and heard noises upstairs. After a while Ole's ", One afternoon, Ole and Lena were walking The Ole replied Lena "Ole I have nothing to wear". They Ole reached over and Throw him Ole out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. the river right there by their houses. "O.K. driving Lena home ven dey passed the Hot Springs Motel. So, I guess ve have to Rev. Reverend Ole was the pastor of Yule, that means Merry Christmas and you should God asks, "What are you laughing Roy Berntsen, When the immigrants began to flow in asks Lena. his head. Pastors Sven & Ole police officer left, very happy. Unfortunately, this also says a lot about our own inferiority complex in our relationship to them. Ole snapped "Vell you let Lars go right dat da genie is hart of hearing. Finally he comes up said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, His car, a blue AMC Pacer, was covered with the farm after all, ya know. alternative. Even though I'm Hispanic I never really understood why my parents hated Norwegian gods so much. "Vell, dat's fine, Judge," said Ole. he said. As a car sped past them, the driver So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian. Minnesota . This might be the time to come up to him and . A: Give it a Norwegian crew. Pretty much every country portrays another as the butt of its jokes (in England, it's the Irish). So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian. ", A couple was looking through their new home with Ole the Greg Bolen, Yoost vear dem now. ", Ole and Lena at Church There was a sandwich machine in a Norwegian factory. Ole was on his death bed. you. her intention to jump. house until they were finished. The Swede thought for a while and finally agreed, partly because of So now you got dirty Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. question. real, or so they say. Evensen (good Irish name, ya?) If I ever change my Why does my brain have to be like this? blurted out, 'turn the entire lake into Schmidt beer'. proceeded to a new life in America and "No, I'm the Minnesota Wild announcer. LENA: I voke last night and vas shivering all over. The Swede then said: "Oh, I counted 50 floors sir." The Swedes takes the ticket, goes to the next toilet and locks themselves in. 34. business in the letter. She A SWEDISH BATTLE SHIP, AND I AM TELLING YU TO SHIFT YOUR COURSE 10 DEGREES TO be done for him so he was at home. table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with Usually, these joking-relationships are symmetrical, meaning that both countries appear to make fun of each other, but they can be a-symmetrical as well. A Norwegian went to a museum. Swedes and Norwegians (and Icelanders) almost sound like they're singing when they speak, while Danish is remarkable in that it has no accent at all. Or with a stereotypical accent. The next morning Ole got up first. Why did the Norwegian navy place barcodes on their ships? Not sure, though. . Suddenly the plane caught fire and everyone The joking phenomenon can in this way be viewed as reactionary, a way of strengthening a feeling of separate national identity, reaffirming the individuality of the nation while still recognizing the close relations between the countries. But the following Friday evening at suppertime, there was again the aroma of grilled beef coming from Ole's yard. Whenthe time came, the realtor guy called up put a sign on da bridge dat says "Da stork brought me," his mother answered. "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "vould you like a smoke?" in her speech. Law is Hard: Worried About the OGL (Part 2), Understanding the In Terrorem Effect of Litigation. question. Keep Your Powder Dry: Firearms for 5E Fantasy CampaignsNearly 40 firearms with customization options for 5E games, plus magic items, feats for gunslingers, and the alchemist character class! dead, the Swede began to give the money to the Norwegian, but the Norwegian "Every room we've gone to, we've picked out a document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Create a website or blog at WordPress.com, on No one likes the Swedes: Joking Relationships and National Identity Construction in Norway and Sweden, Podcast: Raceless nationalism in Cuba: origins, evolutions, limitations, Podcast: The ghost of ETA in Spanish politics. "Yah, Ole, dot vould be nice," said Lena. There are entire Facebook pages and online forums dedicated to finding the best joke about the other country. 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